I recently rediscovered all the music on my iTunes. It’s all music from high school, and every time I listen to it, I am inundated with memories. The thing is, I hated high school. Sure, I have some good memories, but, for the most part, it wasn’t my peak.
I was verbally bullied (and once physically). I was made fun of. I wasn’t the pretty one or the smart one or the talented one. I just sort of…was there. I was the little sister to all of my guy friends, even the guys I liked. I was a band nerd. I was on swim team. Nothing set me apart, and I felt like everyone else had something I didn’t. That idea really had an affect on me.
I started thinking I would never be good enough, and that thinking really hasn’t entirely disappeared.
I like the music, and I’m listening to it again, but it brings back some of those painful feelings. Because that’s where it started. I never understood the lyrics behind a lot of the music that was popular. The lyrics to Milkshake, for instance, always baffled me. I actually still remember one interaction with someone I thought was a friend where I expressed this confusion, and she ruffled my hair and told me, laughing, “you’re so innocent” before walking away. I was naive, and no one missed an opportunity to remind me of it. So as I was listening to this music again recently, I chuckled because now I get it.
When I was younger, I thought I was the only one who had this experience. As I’ve grown up, though, I’ve thought that maybe I’m not. And it’s my desire to help other girls through those awkward stages and let them know they aren’t alone and they will come into their own. God has a plan for you.
. . . . .
What was your high school experience like? Do you remember it fondly or not?
What would you tell your high school self now?