“I’m sorry for the person I became. I’m sorry that it took so long for me to change. I’m ready to and never become that way again. ‘Cause who I am hates who I’ve been.” — Who I Am Hates Who I’ve Been, Reliant K
I’ve struggled with the fine line between “I don’t like who I was and I’m going to change for the better” and “I don’t like who I was and I wish I could take it all back so I’m going to beat myself up for it.” This song, specifically the line “who I am hates who I’ve been,” keeps playing on repeat in my head.
I wish that apologies could fix everything, and I wish apologies could be taken as genuine all the time. But they can’t. Because apologies are sometimes not genuine. Sometimes we apologize just to forget the issue, just to move forward, but we aren’t really sorry. So when we do mean that apology, it isn’t taken.
Even if our verbal apology isn’t taken, we can still find ways to apologize. The best type of apology is changed behavior. Verbally apologize, but then have your behavior reflect that apology. It may take time, especially if what you’re apologizing for has become a habit (like rolling your eyes), but make that conscious effort.
So I’m saying sorry, but I’m going to make sure my behavior is different. I would like to think I’ve changed. I would like to think I am better than I was. And I can bring that with me moving forward. Because no matter what happens next, I have to be satisfied with myself and how I behave.
It’s never too late to apologize. But make sure it’s genuine, and make sure your behavior reflects a true apology.
. . . . . .
Are you guilty of apologizing but not changing your behavior?
What behavior do you need to change to reflect an apology?
What apologies do you need to make?