“I don’t feel well.”
How many times have you said this? And how many times have you not meant physically well? There have been many times I haven’t felt well, but there have also been times I have felt “off” without really knowing why. But telling someone I didn’t feel well without a physical ailment to accompany it made me feel like I was lying, so I didn’t.
I struggle with telling others this, especially when it comes to work. I value honesty and openness, but how open and honest is appropriate in that context? So, I settle for “I don’t feel well” and hope the other person either understands the underlying context or doesn’t ask questions.
I’ve come to realize something, though, and that is this: you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
If you don’t feel well, simply say so and move on. Only explain as much as you’re comfortable or as much as is appropriate. When someone has a cold, we understand they aren’t at their best and we don’t ask questions, so why should it be any different with mental health?
Perhaps because depressive symptoms manifest differently in different people. I came across a very interesting article on my social media feed the other day about high-functioning depression, and I was a bit surprised to be able to relate to some of the points. (No, I’m not going to diagnose myself or make assumptions, but it may be worth a question to my mental health professional.) If someone doesn’t “seem” depressed, it may be more difficult for others to believe that person is struggling simply because our society takes only what we can see.
It’s important, then, to take gauge of yourself periodically during the day. If you’ve been struggling through an episode, give yourself some grace during the day and find gentle ways to bring yourself back. Maybe you need rest, be that physical rest in the form of sleep or spiritual rest or both. Maybe you need an outlet. Whatever it is, do what you need to do to take care of yourself.
So, in all honesty, how do you feel?