Whoever You Are

Why are you so far from me?
In my arms is where you ought to be.
How long will you make me wait?
I don’t know how much more I can take.
I miss you, but I haven’t met you.
Oh, but I want to. How I do.
– To Whom It May Concern 
by The Civil Wars

. . . . . .

Anytime I watch The Hunger Games I end up on a binge-listen of the band The Civil Wars.   Their music is hauntingly beautiful. They have 2 songs on the film soundtrack, one with Taylor Swift and one on their own, and I love both of them.

So as I began my binge-listen, their song “To Whom It May Concern” off their Barton Hollow album played, and it really stuck with me this time more than any other. While it could have a few meanings, the one it had to me is probably fairly obvious.

. . . . . .

Telling someone you recognize change and want to get to know them as they are shows understanding and grace. It can take a lot of emotional energy and patience. In the end, though, it’s worth it. You learn to love someone for who they are, not who you think they should be or even who you think they are–but who they have created themselves to be.

This is something I am learning and trying to practice. I had a terrible habit in the past of telling people what I think they should do, how they should act, who they should be. What I’ve realized is I was placing my own expectations on someone else, and that isn’t fair. Because we are different people. I cannot expect another person to do what I would do simply because they are not me.

I want to stop doing that.

I realize this means practicing patience. It means showing grace. It means constantly checking in with myself to see if these expectations are realistic or not. But it’s something I am willing to do.

. . . . . .

So, wherever you are at in life, whoever you feel you are, do not be afraid to be yourself. Allow others in. Do not make the decision to cut them out of your life for them, even if you think that is what “should” happen because of whatever predicament you are in. Allow them to get to know you so they can make the decision for themselves.

They just may surprise you.

. . . . . .

Dear whoever you might be,
I’m still waiting patiently.