I just wanna keep calling your name
Until you come back home…
-“I Don’t Wanna Live Forever,” Zayn & Taylor Swift
. . . . . .
The last few weeks have been hectic to say the least. Between the end of a complicated course and some emotional upheaval, I didn’t dedicate time to blogging. Instead, I dedicated time to myself–prayer, spending time with my dog, journaling, and just taking care of myself in general. I even got a new hairstyle (say hello to pink!).
I’ve always been a Taylor Swift fan, so I started listening to her new album, reputation. And I really like it! The thing is, it’s the first music I can listen to in over a year. And listening to it makes me feel a little more empowered (admittedly, the pink hair helps, too). And, sure, “I Don’t Wanna Live Forever” is not only T. Swift, and it’s from Fifty Shades Darker, but I can relate to the lyrics just a bit. As I’ve been listening to music, I’ve felt a shift in myself, too.
The truth is, my heart is calling him. I’m not 100% okay. But I’ve felt like I am growing stronger by the day. Sure, some days–heck, some mornings–are harder than others. I’ve started to see, though, that God has a plan for everything, and He will use this for my good.
I have felt as if something is about to happen, as if God is preparing me. As I have attended church and listened to worship music, I feel my spirit changing. Things are by no means going the way I had anticipated or even hoped, but I know God is working.
Tomorrow is Easter. It marks the resurrection of Jesus, of the whole reason Christians exist. It signifies the end of death. It signifies that dead things can be resurrected when we believe. Tomorrow is an important day. It’s also a new day.
So I’ll continue to take life day by day. I will fight this as long as that is what God is calling my spirit to do, and if He is, He will strengthen me for the battle.
The name I have to keep calling out is the name above all names: Jesus.